


Stars Flying Between the Clouds

by tkachuk



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Making Out, Mentions of Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 17:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15635625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkachuk/pseuds/tkachuk
Summary: The first time Ben realized he was in love with Jake was when half the team rented out a downtown Vancouver karaoke bar in order to belt out lyrics to Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez in peace. Ben, nervous about his upcoming turn, hid his fears behind his trademark smile as he tried to shake his worries away by laughing at Boeser's embarrassing rendition of "Fergalicious".





	Stars Flying Between the Clouds

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy this story! Let me know in the comments if you feel any more tags are needed and feel free to leave any feedback! :)

The first time Ben realized he was in love with Jake was when half the team rented out a downtown Vancouver karaoke bar in order to belt out lyrics to Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez in peace. Ben, nervous about his upcoming turn, hid his fears behind his trademark smile as he tried to shake his worries away by laughing at Boeser's embarrassing rendition of "Fergalicious". 

"They want my treasure, so they get their pleasures from my photo..."

All horribly, horribly off-key.

"You could see me, you can't squeeze me" 

Brock strutted around the stage as if he was a pop star, attempting to flip his Prince Charming hair out of his eyes every 3 seconds. Ben chuckled at his boldness as he felt someone slip into the empty folding chair beside him. 

"You ready for your turn?" a slightly tipsy Jake Virtanen asked.

Ben's cheeks darkened. "Honestly? Not really?"

Jake turned his body in order to face Ben directly. "How come?"

He sighed. "I guess I'm just nervous? I'm not ready. Sounds stupid, I know. It's just I can't sing, and I really don't want to make a fool out of myself today."

Jake tried to read Ben's eyes as he analyzed what he said.

A few seconds later, Jake replied with a simple "okay", got up, and left.

Ben sat there, baffled, and continued to freak out in his chair. It must've been obvious because a teammate handed him the remainder of their beer.

"To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S"

"To the D to the E to the, to the, to the, to the, to the-" 

Brock raised his microphone in triumph as the song came to an end. The small room erupted into whoops and hollers as he received the most enthusiasm anyone had gotten that night.

Ben began to rise out of his seat as Brock made his way offstage. As Ben trudged over to the small staircase leading up, he felt a small tap on his shoulder as Jake pushed passed him and jumped up onto on the stage.

Ben stopped, surprised, and watched Jake as he grabbed the mic out of its stand, tapped it to ensure it was still on and began to speak.

"I saw you all as I came up on stage, and I could read everyone's face. You were all thinking 'hey, I didn't realize Ben Hutton could become 10 times hotter and a much better hockey player within a few hours,' but sorry to disappoint you all, it's me instead."

Ben's eyes widened as he turned right around, made his way back down the stairs and toppled right into his original seat as Jake began belting the lyrics to "Barbie Girl".

 

~

 

The second time Ben confirmed he didn't want to be with anyone else but Jake was Jake's first girlfriend. Ben would always see him smiling at his phone before game time, after wins, after losses, between periods... You name it, and Jake was talking to Mel.

In warmups, Ben would always glance to see if she was in her seat, which was 4 rows from the opposing goalie's main net and 6 seats to the right, to be exact.

Jealous is a word that may be too vague for what Ben was experiencing. Maybe Ben was overprotective of Jake. They had been becoming closer and closer of good friends ever since that day at the karaoke bar. Maybe Ben just wanted what was best for his best friend, and he could sense Mel wasn't it.

Or maybe he thought Mel wasn't good enough for him because Ben couldn't think of anyone good enough for him BUT him.

A month or two later after a tough win to pull through against Pittsburgh, Jake came into the locker room. He had a fantastic game- 2 goals and an assist. He gave teammates high fives as he passed, and the smile he wore was absolutely blinding. Ben's eyes stuck to his face like glue as he watched him basically dance his way to his locker. Ben knows Jake's routine.

1) Jake unties his skates.

Jake untied his skates.

2) Jake checks his phone to see if his girlfriend texted him. Jake will not yet get a text.

Jake checked his phone. Jake didn't receive a text, Ben could tell, by the way his smile faltered a little.

3) Jake takes off his right skate, then his left skate, and checks his phone. He usually has a text waiting for him.

Ben watched as Jake took off his skates. He checked his phone and slid over a notification, which one could assume was a text from his girlfriend- though Jake's smile became nonexistent with a blink of an eye.

Ben frowned. "What's up, Jake? Sad you didn't get a hatty?"

Jake looked up. "Mel broke up with me. She said it's too hard with my hockey schedule and, you know. The usual shit."

Ben got up and sat down next to Jake, almost like Jake did to him that first day of their friendship at the bar. He wrapped an arm around Jake as he leaned into Ben and sniffled.

It was almost like they were in their own little bubble. Their teammates continued to get dressed, shower, and pack their bags for the upcoming road trip. Ben realized then the world will never stop, but this is as close as it will ever get to the world stopping, to savor the moment wisely, because it will be gone before another blink of an eye.

Ben hated himself for the tinge of relief he felt inch up his bones.

 

~

 

 

The Canucks lost 6-1 against Carolina.

Yes, Carolina.

Jake was on the ice for 4 of the opposing goals.

Following the completion of the game, there was a certain type of buzz in the locker room wafting into the room through the doors, between the defeated athletes taking off their equipment, and dancing in and out of their assigned cubbies. The buzz carried annoyance. Annoyance at the Hurricanes for outperforming them to such an extent. Annoyance at themselves for allowing them to take control of the game so quickly, scoring only two minutes into the game. The buzz also had a hint of guilt. Guilt from the defensemen for allowing their precious goalie to be left out alone in the cold, the Canucks' only hope to stay in the game time and time again. Guilt from the goalie for not making that one save, which turned into those two saves, which eventually turned into those six saves.

Bo Horvat was the first to leave the arena that night. He scored the only goal for Vancouver that night, and he left without a word of consolation, or really, a word at all. He slipped out even before coach could come in recite his usual "tonight just wasn't our night boys, we'll get them next time".

The room eventually cleared out. Ben was on the ice for 3 of the goals, and he knew his performance that night was mediocre at best. He treated it as any other win, or loss, for that matter. He took his equipment, hung it up in his stall, and took way more time than considered appropriate in the showers. Ben was used to being the last one out for that matter, and even knew the majority of the night staff by name. Ben came out of the showers, the stereotypical locker room towel the color of fresh snow wrapped around his muscular hips. Everything was usual, though he didn't expect to see a person sitting in the locker rooms, staring at a wall beside him almost like he was in a trance. Jake. Also known as the last person, or the first person, he would like to see while basically naked.

Ben stuttered before starting. "Jake, hey man? What're you doing here?"

Jake turned to look at Ben and simply shrugged his shoulders. "Just thinking about the loss tonight, I guess?"

Ben walked over to his locker and began to dress. "Did you even shower?"

Jake, who had become fixated on playing with his hands in front of him, looked back up, eyes slow like molasses, trailed over Ben, almost like his eyes couldn't keep up with his mind. "No, I don't think so?" Jake questioned himself.

Ben pulled his shirt over his head. "Jake, you're obviously going through something tonight. How 'bout you come over to my place and crash for the night, eh?" Ben's mouth upturned into his trademark smile.

Jake gave a sad attempt of a smile and began to stand up, gather his things, and head over to Ben. Ben, keys in hand, slung a study arm around Jake's shoulders, and Jake sunk into his touch.

Ben's heart fluttered in his chest, already beating harder than it was previously. Jake was probably Ben's best-kept secret from anyone: Ben was bisexual as fuck. And Jake was just who happened to be how Ben found out. Just one look at Jake was all it took for him to realize.

Ben hated himself for feeling the familiar heat in his body as Jake leaned farther into him as they walked to Ben's SUV.

Ben climbed into the driver's seat as Jake slid in next to him.

It was a short, quiet drive to Ben's apartment in the Vancouver suburbs.

The familiar buzz from earlier filled the enclosed area. Annoyance. Guilt. Shame.

Ben found an empty space to park across the street from his apartment complex and slipped quietly out of his car. He circled his car and met Jake on the other side. It was a clear night, not a cloud in the sky, and the heaven was filled to the brim of stars like words on a chalkboard.

They made their way into Ben's home, slowly but surely. Ben guided Jake to the couch and plopped down beside him.

"Jake."

"Ben."

"I know when something isn't right with you, I hope you know."

Jake gave a sad excuse for a smile. "I know."

"Speak your mind, boy."

Jake's smile turned a bit more genuine. "This is gonna sound so stupid. So like. Don't make a huge deal about it and make fun of me, okay?"

Ben frowned. "Why would I do that?" he asked.

Jake closed his eyes and took a breath. "Just... I feel like the loss is my fault. I know that makes no sense, wins and losses are a team effort, blah blah. But this loss was different, I just feel empty I guess. Does that make sense? Am I insane?"

Ben saw into his ocean eyes. "No, Jake. You're nothing close to insane."

He suddenly became very aware of the amount of space between them. To be specific, it would be a challenge to jam a piece of printer paper between their thighs pressed together. Ben felt Jake's eyes burning into his own eyes, his cheek, his jawline lined with stubble, his neck. He turned to face him. Jake looked scared. Ben couldn't describe the look on his face any better than fear with a trace of regret.

Ben doesn't know who made the first move. Maybe it was him, maybe it was Jake. All Ben could comprehend was his lips were on Jake's, all plush and smooth. Ben had fireworks going off down his spine as Jake wrapped a hand into his hockey hair, pulling him closer and making the impossible possible- Ben didn't think it was achievable to get any more pressed up against another person. 

The third and final reassurance Ben needed to realize he was in love with Jake was the kiss. The kiss that canceled out all past kisses and present kisses. The kiss that made Ben realize he needed Jake, and it would not, could not possibly be the same with anyone else. The kiss that messed with his mind, filled it with bliss and made him forget who he was.

It's also the kiss where he can't tell how it ended. All he knew is he was making it out his own front door, leaving Jake on his sofa, half-hard and heartbroken.

 

~

 

 

Ben's thoughts are everywhere that night.

Ben doesn't even know where he is.

He ran/jogged/walked to some park a few blocks away from his housing complex that he had never come across until now. Now that he thought about it, it might be someone's really, really big front yard that happens to have a few convenient stone benches and a half-frozen waterfall.

Yeah, it's probably just a park. 

Ben felt as if he sat there for hours, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Out of all of his jumbled thoughts, there was only one thing he could guarantee. Ben was so in love with Jake.

Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. 2:43 AM. He saw that he had 2 missed calls from Bo, 3 from Brock, and 1, the most recent, from Jake. Ben lets out a breath, which comes out more as a shudder.

More time passes. A car drives slowly down the road, approaching the small yard. Park? 

Ben watched the car grow bigger, foot by foot until the headlights fully illuminate him slouched over on the bench.

"Is that my car?" Ben thought.

It was Ben's car.

Ben heard the driver's door open and shut as the headlights clicked off. Jake walked toward him slowly until he stood directly in front of him.

"I just drove around for like 35 minutes trying to look for you."

Ben's cheek twitched. "Why would you do that?"

Jake frowned. "Maybe because we were making out and you just sprinted out your front door at 12 at night and I had no idea where you were or where you were going and you scared the living shit out of me? And I knew if anything happened to you I would never be able to forgive myself if I didn't at least look for you. I mean how would I be able to live with myself if I knew this was my-"

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop, Jake."

 

"Okay."

"Sit down."

Jake sat down.

Ben looked at Jake. "I ran out because I panicked."

Jake grimaced. 

"I panicked because I am so in love with you, Jake. I have been for the longest time and I always thought you were straight, or something. Or you would never see me as anything more as a friend and I just freaked out. And I am so, so sorry."

Silence.

Jake snorted. "You can't be serious."

"What?"

"Ben Hutton, you are truly something else."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sparks flew up Ben's spine.

His mind became filled with bliss.

It was a kiss that canceled out all past and future kisses.

It was another kiss that made Ben realize he needed Jake more than he needed oxygen, and Ben would never be satisfied with anything in life unless he had Jake there with him, by his side.

Jake broke for air, but their foreheads remained touched.

"I love you so much, Ben."

They remained on that random bench for a while longer, staring up and the sky and stealing kisses whenever they got the chance. Ben could never get through his head the way the stars looked- millions upon billions of lights swimming between the fluffy clouds. 

Dear God, Ben is in love.


End file.
